Dragon Age II PC Review

Ohh Maker, here we go.  Well, after 340 saves, 26 hours, 4 minutes and 55 seconds of game play I’ve finally finished Dragon Age II.  And let me say this….

Story – 5 / 10

Dragon Age II is the only Dragon Age I’ve played.  I never played Origins and am glad for the fact.  Because every other review out there points back to Origins for one reason or another, you won’t have to worry about that from me.

Dragon Age 2 Characters

I’m not sure if it felt like the story dragged on because I kept feeling like I was coming close to beating the game, or because the story really did drag on.  But the story is the low point of Dragon Age II.  Half the time playing the campaign I literally forgot what the main point of the game was.  And even after finishing the game, I am still not completely sure.

Here is the story as I digested it.  You start off as a refuge to Kirkwall, kill some villains.  Then people start to recognize your face and want you to kill more villains for them.  Then more important people start to recognize you and in turn ask you to kill their villains for them.  Then once you’ve killed half the monsters and people in Kirkwall and the surrounding area, your somehow become the Champion of Kirkwall, and get better armor and weapons and junk.

I really didn’t care too much about the characters in the game, besides wanting to shag every woman I came across.  And that is a lot of women, because basically half of the characters in the game are women with huge jugs.  And not just huge jugs, DD type huge jugs.  I felt really wrong wanting to shag my own sister, and then she died, and I didn’t have to stare at her chest every time she was in a cut scene, so that worked out okay I guess.Dragon Age II Boobs

Truly the main thought that came to my head the whole time playing Dragon Age 2 was not, “this spell rocks” or “my sword is frigging awesome” it was “those are some huge jugs”.  And this is not a bad thing, but something I know the developers at BioWare used to either torment or enthrall male gamers.

Something else about the story that is pretty cool is that you get to choose your dialogue.  You can be a hard ass, nice guy or a fence walking turd.  Those are your only three options throughout the whole game, besides when you have the option to choose the “heart” and this will possibly lead to some more spicy dialogue and possibly a cheesy sex scene.  There was even one time with an elf that I choose a “heart” reaction to see what would happen, then shortly after felt very gay and my next response to this little fruity elf was to F off.  I washed myself shortly after.

Game Play –10 / 10

Dragon Age II ScreenshotI really enjoyed the game play in Dragon Age II.  I loved how you can pause the game during a heated battle and issue orders to your friends.  And sometimes it is very necessary to pause the game and issues orders to your followers because they think from time to time they can take on 3 Demon Spawns by themselves…not so much.

All the usual suspects show up in this RPG.  Long walks, leveling up, armor upgrades, new weapons, spells, and bunch of other cool stuff.  To be fair the “long walks” I mentioned are not that bad at all.  Usually there is a fast travel point you can get to in under a minute wherever you’re at in the world.

Without the game play being as fun and rewarding as it was in Dragon Age II, the game would have been a sub-par game, but since BioWare created a fun RPG, +1 for them and for gamers everywhere.

Graphics – 9 /10

I’ve read a few other reviews on the Net and have found that many gamers/reviewers are complaining about how it’s a lame ass PC port.  I can’t tell.  With the high resolution texture pack they put out, the game looked amazing to me.  Here are the minimum system requirements for Dragon Age II and what I ran to play it.

Dragon Age 2 ExplosionMinimum System Requirements:

  • OS:         Win XP (SP3) Win Vista (SP2), or Win 7
  • CPU:      Intel Core 2 Duo at 1.8 GHz or better – AMD Athlon 64 X2 at 1.8GHz or better
  • RAM:     1GB (1.5 GB Vista and Win 7)
  • GPU:     ATI Radeon HD 2600 Pro 256 MN – NVIDIA GeForce 7900 GS 256 MB
  • HD:         7 GB Free Space
  • Sound:   DX 9.0c compatible (Win sound card experience index 4.5)

My Rig:

  • OS:         Win 7 64 Bit
  • CPU:      AMD Quad Core 3.2 GHz
  • RAM:     10 GB
  • HD:         Plenty
  • GPU:      ATI Radeon 5770 HD
  • Sound:    Loud Enough

I had no major issues with graphics during the whole game.  I only notice 2 things that did pain me though.  When starting the game I always had to “continue” past an error I got about my “D” drive.  I downloaded the game through EA’s servers and then applied the High Resolution Texture Pack.  I don’t know if it had something to do with that or what, but having this error pop up every time I started the game was a bit annoying.

For 99% of the time I spent playing Dragon Age II my system cruised along at 60 FPS.  Ohh, and I played on max resolution with High (not max) graphic settings.  But sometimes when a character was standing in front of a torch on a wall, that source of light would bring the FPS in the game to like 5-15 FPS, along with a very noticeable lag during cut scenes.  But other than those issues, I didn’t notice anything major.

Sound – 9 / 10

The voice acting is great.  I loved listening to the characters talk to one another, even if they were just shooting the shit while I was running to my next objective.  The sounds of battle are also quite impressive.  There are mages and dragons and monsters and giant spiders and blades and blood.   And all those sounds are orchestrated together quite nicely.

The sound dose stands out I believe.  When just roaming the city or before a great battle the music sets the mood perfectly.  I’m not saying the sound is the best in the world, but it does the trick.

Dragon Age 2 Graphics

AI – 8 / 10

Your friends are not too smart.  But that’s to be expected from a big breasted elf, a smart mouthed dwarf and your sister.  The will put themselves in corners against 3 or more enemies just to show off, often times resulting in their demise.  They don’t think so well on their feet one could say.  But this is not all a bad thing; it makes you become more conscious of how you’re ordering your squad around and when you need to take care of them.

The enemy AI is not the greatest either.  In the final fight of the game I noticed that this she bitch kept going after my big breasted mage.  So I selected her and kept running around the map while the deadly enemy chased me.  Meanwhile the rest of my squad kept attacking the enemy from behind while she chased those luscious ta-tas.

It did make for a fun chase though!

Fun Factor – 8 / 10

The game is fun.  At times like I mentioned earlier it can feel like Dragon Age is dragging on, or leading you down a path to nowhere (and it is) but overall Dragon Age II is at its core a really fun game.

Dragon Age 2 Demon

Replay Value – 10 / 10

I never thought I would be praising the replay value of a game with no multiplayer at all, but Dragon Age II has loads of replay Value.  You can restart your quest from the beginning as a completely different class of character.  That fact alone adds tons of replay value to this game.

Personally I am looking forward to playing though Dragon Age II again as a mage, even if the replay doesn’t happen for quite some time, it would be well worth it to play though the whole game again as a different class.

Besides being able to change your class and looks, the dialogue could be almost entirely different through the whole game as well.  I’m sure many of your conversations choices would be different and you may have a whole new bag of smart ass remarks to choose from.

Deep Thoughts:

Big bustling breasts in body armor (see above review).

Dragon Age 2 Ta-tas


Total Score:_______________________________83%


Airborne Gamer
Airborne Gamer
Gaming is my medicine and writing is my drug. Is it making sense now? "WELCOME TO WARP ZONE!"
The Imba Gamer
The Imba Gamer

Great review btw I like your rig specs Sound: Loud Enough :)


Dang! That's all I have to say. It could mean anything you want it to mean.