At the risk of stating the obvious, winning feels good and failing feels bad. Winning over and over is like a drug induced euphoria while losing repeatedly is frustrating if not anger inducing.
When I was a kid, after the tenth time I was eaten by a gator in Pitfall or flattened by a digital Chevy in Frogger, I would lash out at my little sister in frustration. After a short time she knew not to sit next to me once I started failing.
I’m not a violent man, so one might argue that video games make you violent. You could, but it would be a completely invalid and misinformed perspective. Losing makes you violent.
Losing at ANYTHING makes you angry and violent. Losing at golf, losing at billiards, losing at blackjack, losing in your career, losing at dating, losing at EVERYTHING except weight loss.
This is why there’s a fine balance between a game that’s too easy and a game that’s too hard. That’s also why there are usually difficulty levels to choose from in most games.
Natural born talent is not normal, most people find a game they really enjoy, and they play it for hours, days, months, even years until they become the Elite of the Elite at that game and games with similar gameplay (like first person shooters).
Only kids in college or younger have that amount of carefree spare time to dedicate to that level of eliteness building.
So most of us just fail, or switch to the pussy hardness level and become casual gamers.
Casual gamers really really want to be hardcore gamers. They just don’t have the spare time due to having a job, a family, or a myriad of other non-gaming obligations that life throws at you past college.
Winning makes you attach to a game. It makes you say “This is MY game, I am this game”. You identify so much with the game that every time you think about it, you start to feel really good and excited. You start reliving all the awesomeness in your head and then you have that feeling of anticipation for the next time you can play. It’s all about the good feels, bro.
Most recently, Assassin’s Creed III is a perfect example. The controls are simple and straightforward, the freedom of choice makes you feel you are Connor, the amazing actions you can take with relative ease makes you feel like you REALLY are a skilled assassin. As the game progresses, your skill as a gamer increases making the really cool combo moves flow out easier and easier, which just brings euphoria and excitement.
Frustration and Anger are the essence of FAIL.
This is why girls hate gaming. From an early age, girls are encouraged to play with girlish things. Learning to cook, clean, wash the dishes, put on makeup to fool the boys into thinking you’re attractive. Makeup is as much a lie as Wonderbra or Spanx.
Girls don’t have the time, encouragement, and rarely the natural skill to win at games… and so they fail.
They fail, and so they hate gaming.